Season One : Episode 7 "Deja Vu"

This week has been good I have been so blessed of the Lord in so many ways of my life and have learned so much. There had been so much on my mind which was once blurry that now feels so clear. Something that I have always struggled with is making decisions. I look at life very analytically and so when it comes to any choice, from a big step such as where to attend college or to a small one such as my response in a conversation I have analyzed 5 different outcomes before I take a step forward. This is both a blessing and a curse.

This habit has helped me often in my life to make wise choices and stay on the right course. At the same time it can inhibit me from making decisions or choices that need to occur in my life. I take so long debating whether I will make a choice that I don't make any altogether or simply miss the opportunity that was there. I think we all do this to some extent or know someone in our lives who do. If you are reading this, you now know I do, haha!

I remember when I was on my mission and was drawing closer to the spirit, I was striving to be my very best as a servant of the Lord. I knew I had been called of God to serve Him and His children in the Philadelphia Pennsylvania Mission. I wanted to be effective in my efforts. I believe that my biggest fear was really two that go hand in hand. The first was that somehow I would miss someone the Lord was trying to send to me by either a lack of Faith or a lack of attention to the spirit. The second fear was that I would slacken my strength or lose the desire or fire within me to serve the Lord.

I remember in an attempt to be sure I never fulfilled these fears I would strive to submit myself fully to the Lord. I remember two such occasions that fit well. As fate may have it I would often be walking down the street. At times I would see someone and think you should talk with them. If I would ignore it then it would be on my mind for several minutes and the next person I saw would bring the same thoughts to mind. After having this occur who knows how many times I finally decided I would act upon it. I wondered often if it was just me thinking that or the spirit telling me this person was important and needed to hear the message I was sharing. I noticed when I did talk with random people we passed as we were going about our work, I felt more fulfilled. After one such occasion I decided I would simply always strive to "open my mouth" to all we saw as often as possible. This may have simply been a hello and an invitation to get a free DVD but the impact this made upon me or them may never be fully known and I can confidently know because of this choice I did not miss anyone or ignore promptings of the Lord. As many missionaries are I was nervous coming into the field and was unsure of what to say or how my words could help any of the people we saw. I was astounded by the Faith and the boldness of my Father ( or senior companion/ trainer) as we went about teaching the gospel. But perhaps over a period of time I overcame that fear as I placed more trust in the Lord and how he could inspire me than my own words. I didn't not see it till now but this has the perfect parallel to my life today. Just as I had to simply start teaching for the Lord to guide our conversations and lessons.

With life we are expected to live our lives, it is kinda a big reason God sent us here. The greatest gift we have been given is free agency. The ability to act and choose for ourselves. As we take the faith to make decisions and take that first step into the darkness the Lord can enlighten our minds and our souls in accomplishing his will and in staying on the right path. Perhaps if we are doing what we need to and live the commandments then that is enough and he will be there to support us. You know I am pretty sure that sometimes when I write these blogs it is so much more for me to learn than for me to share anything with those you who may read it, hahah!

Elder Bagshaw (left), Elder Nielson (right)

Philadelphia, PA

The second experience that comes to mind is when I was serving in beautiful and green Drexel Hill, PA. I was companions with good old Elder Skyler Bagshaw. We always worked hard and had fun together. It is ironic because our personalities were so different but he was perhaps one of my favorite companions! We had been in our apartment most of a morning working on a "finder binder". A book with more detailed maps that would help us to be more effective when we were either lost in planning or had appointments fall through. We reached a point where we needed more materials. We had chosen to stay inside and work on the "finder binder" because our mileage was low and we wanted to be obedient and stay within the mile limitations we had been given. We felt strongly like we should go to the store regardless and get more supplies for the binder. This would mean we were on foot. There was a K-Mart fairly close which we could walk to. So we got ready to leave prayed and made it out the apartment door, up the stairs and as we opened the complex door and it began to down pour rain heavier than I had seen my entire mission! We looked at each other and determined to go inside and grab jackets. We were  tempted to just stay home but again felt the spirit impress us to go to the store and the thought was prevalent within our minds that the Lord would place someone in our path just as we had prayed ever sincerely for. As we walked my protective clothing had not worked perfectly and I was getting soaked in a matter of minutes. Shortly after we had crossed the old stone bridge out of our neighborhood and were approaching the main street corner we saw a man walking in the rain with a backpack on. I knew we needed to talk to him, I doubted for a second but reminded myself that someone walking in the rain must be out for a strong purpose and we would should talk with him. Amazing enough he was interested by what we had said or rather the spirit he felt and after further miracles which are for another time joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to my knowledge is active to this day.

What would have happened if we had been so focused on all the reasons not to go out of the apartment, what would have happened had we entertained the thoughts of why we should not talk to this fellow trudging through the rain with a disgruntled look on his face. Surely it would have been easy to pass him. But we didn't delay our decision. We chose to act and simply the Lord was with us.

It is amazing that this experience was nearly two years ago and today I am learning the same lessons from the Lord. Perhaps I am pretty stubborn. Good thing He hasn't given up on me yet! As I have been seeking answers to questions in my life recently and have attended the Temple this past week I received the same answers from the Lord. We are here to make decisions. Today my decisions are different than what I will say to someone about the restored gospel,  though that comes up time to time. They are more focused on my career, my schooling, my relationship and in general my future. I guess that I do not always need to know the how before I decide the what. And I guess that Faith is an eternal principle I am always going to apply. I am more certain as I go through life that there is more and more I still have to learn!

You know I had awoken this morning early only with the desire to go back to sleep. I was up early because there was a chance I had to work the morning shift. I guess I am glad I stayed up to blog, haha. Now though I think I will go back to bed. As I have mentioned in earlier blogs baking bread is pretty physically demanding and I want to be well rested when I do go in for work!!

~Trent D. Nielson

"Keep the Faith and Never Give Up, Never Surrender"