13 Reasons Why

The latest fad on Netflix is a series recently release tilted, "13 Reasons Why" based on the story of Hannah Baker who commits suicide and leaves audio tape recordings for all those who did things that affected her and were a reason she decided to take her life.

Here is my list of at least 13 Reasons Why you NEVER need to watch this series:

1. Glorifies Suicide: This is a heavily dramatized story of a suicide, in which it glorifies the person committing suicide, who in death brings justice to those that wronged her. The sad truth is that this is likely to motivate some to commit suicide through copycat ideas because of its glorification. Suicide is a terrible thing which takes the life of someone before their time. It is always sad when someone takes their life. They and those who love them suffer beyond explanation.
2. Dramatized with Hollywood Style Twists: While trying to show how cruel acts can cause pain, suffering & depression to the victim, the film is filled with Hollywood twists and turns taking away from the true nature of suicide and its effects. Lets be clear this movie was made for entertainment purposes more than it was for suicide prevention.
3. False Blame for Suicide: While the film presents the idea that we should not bully, judge or sexually assault others it is portrayed in such a way that also places blame & guilt on others for the individual's decision to commit suicide. We have suicide prevention programs because we can help prevent suicide by showing kindness, supporting and uplifting others. However  it is never our place to blame another individual for someones decision to end their life. The message that should be shared is no matter what terrible things you experience, life can still be worth living. And never let someone else's pain continue to hold power over you by taking away the rest of your earthly experience.
4. Say Something: Little if at all is shown the principle promoted by anti-suicide / anti-depression groups to say something when you see it happen. Time and time again does Clay Jensen see Hannah bullied but never does he step in and stand up to his peers to say its not okay. His character role is to "not care what others think about Hannah" and he worries that Hannah thinks he does care what others say about her. Hannah is the person that steps up time and again to tell others their judgement's, accusations and bullying is not okay. She is the hero to herself and to those around her but in the end she is the person who takes her life. It is so important that our children know when they see someone bullied not only to not participate but stand up to their peers and to tell a trusted adult. 
5. Mistrust in Student Counselors / Adults: This series does little to reinforce the bond between youth and the adults around them. None of the family relationships are close enough where the youth feel comfortable talking about the real problems they are facing with their parents. The counselor for the school gives bad advice to the students and makes them feel like they are the problem. He also lies during at least part of the movie to stay out of trouble. Students should be able to trust their counselors or a teacher or a parent. They should know if they are experiencing feelings of depression or facing bullying they can find help.
6. Vigilante :  Another issue that arises with this series is the promotion of vigilante activity. Clay Jensen a love interest that develops throughout the series begins taking matters into his own hands and bullying those who hurt Hannah Baker. He is filled with anger and wants those who treated Hannah poorly to be punished. There is some commentary on whether or not it is right but it is still shown and in essence seen as acceptable. Becoming a bully is not a solution to the problem and teaches kids the wrong way to respond to these kinds of situations which brings us into our next problem.
7. Lying: Deceit is prolific throughout the series by adults in trusted positions, classmates and even one of the lead protagonists falls into a pattern of deceit often when there is no need. When Clay receives the audio tapes, he steals his friends cassette player so he can listen to them. Throughout the film he withholds information from his parents & sneaks out late at night. He also lies to Hannah's mother about how much he knew her or if he was aware she was bullied.  The consistent withholding of information from parents and general lying teach demoralized values. Much of the deceit occurs in fulfillment of its Hollywood style story-line. Once we know of someone being bullied or  abused we should immediately say something.  We should be able to trust our parents and ideally have an open relationship with them. 
8. Vulgar: The film is prolific with swearing: taking the Lord's name in vain, dropping the f-bomb frequently by every main character, side characters, teachers, parents. It is dropped in each episode.And in one at least 10-15 times.
9. Alcohol & Drugs: Alcohol is easily accessible and used by many of the High Schoolers. It is the norm to underage drink. And getting totally wasted. There is at least two scenes in which  you know drugs are going to be used or you know have been used.
10. Sexually Explicit: The film contains nudity repeatedly shows the full naked backs of men. A Girl is shown in her bra. There are graphic rapes scenes uncomfortable to watch. A masturbation scene in which nothing is shown but seemed out of place. Constant sexually denigrating actions / comments toward woman.
11. Gay / Lesbian: Some scenes are brought up to address the bullying kids can receive for feeling same gender attraction. There is at least one scene in which 2 girls get drunk and then start daring each other to do things in which quickly escalates to a full make out. It is shown as shameful but the protagonist who participated also justifies it and is okay with it.
12. Not for Children... or Adults: As expressed in previous reasons this movie is explicit with a rating of TV- MA according to www.healthychildren.org this means it may be inappropriate for audiences under 17. I would agree with this rating and did not feel comfortable finishing the season. Wikipedia is a great source if you are hooked to the story line and want to know how it ends.
13. Better Resources: There are better resources for understanding suicide / bully prevention including: 
• Cyberbully Watch on Youtube (Movie)
• Bullying Stop It (Short Film)
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (website)

Theses are a semi-detailed description of  13 Reasons Why you NEVER need to view this series. If you know of more appropriate or shows which better address Suicide Awareness please post! I would not recommend this film to anyone as it does not address suicide in the appropriate way and brings out more questions than it answers. While it does bring a realistic look into some social groups and verbal / physical abuse some people are faced with today we do not need to see it in such raw footage to get the message. When delivered in such a way it can desensitize young minds and leave those those living a more wholesome life a little traumatized. Those who experienced such horrors will be reminded all too well of what they went through and it will defeat the purpose of the message.We shouldn't have to watch a feel good movie having been left so yucky . . .

Season 2 : Episode 6 "Enabling the Addict"

I am increasingly shocked by the stories and articles I see in the news. Generally it is disappointing because topics that really are important aren't being written. And when something of importance is discussed is because it has become so alarmingly atrocious or because it is politically charged. This morning I read an article about a new Task Force that was created in the state of Washington for Seattle because of the increased deaths it has been experiencing due to Opiod overdoses which have raised by 60% over the last year. The Article was written by Jonah Bromwich the New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/26/us/seattles-potential-solution-for-heroin-epidemic-places-for-legal-drug-use.html?_r=0

The task force is considering as their solution to present to the Mayor of creating drug safe facilities where those with addictions can shoot up, smoke & get high under trained supervision. The goal is clearly to focus on one of the most severe consequences of drugs and that is the transmit of disease through unclean needles and the rising death rate from drug overdoses. This has been tried in other various Countries including Vancouver Canada without bringing increased crime to the areas the facilities have been created.

We are in an Era in the United States to overthrow morality in the name of acceptance, really it is appealing to the idea that you must break the rules to be accepting. They take something that appeals to the goodness of human nature to help others to be kind to others and they abuse it into something that is more than kindness. In this case it is called enabling. Enabling is when you "make someone able to do something" as defined by Miriam Websters dictionary. Those who have themselves, friends or family who have been or currently are involved in a drug addiction will be familiar with the term. It is when we trying to be kind and to help them and in the process give them the tools they need to continue in their addiction.

Those who support this new proposal by the Task Force are simply enabling the user to abuse drugs, harm their body and  break the law. Drug addiction is a disease it affects the brain destroys your ability to make rational decisions. There will be people who use these locations but there will be many who will not because it doesn't matter, all that matters is that they get their next high. It super-cedes all other desires or needs pushing beyond, relationships, responsibility and eventually the need to eat. It becomes the most essential and important piece of their life.

This is a solution with so many flaws. First it focuses on a symptom and not the problem. One cannot cure cancer by simply going to sleep when it takes all the energy out of their body, exhaustion is simply a symptom . The problem is a lack of education to our youth, increased support of drug abuse & gateway drugs, a prolific amount of Opiod prescriptions being given to patients and more free access than ever known before to the deadly substance.

Rather than focusing more energy on creating new gender identities for our kids to learn in school the time should be used to educate them on the variety of drugs and the effects they ultimately have on the body. It should be spent teaching about addiction and how it destroys your freedom  to choose by enslaving you to your addiction.

We need to be aware of the changes happening to our country because of the politically correct decisions of others and haste to support causes they do not fully understand. Firstly we have a crisis of Black Tar entering the country through our southern border. Because of recent law changes to allow the medical and recreational use of marijuana in some states it has now destroyed the market for farming in Mexico. Instead they have seen an increase in poppy farms and sending the narcotics straight to the U.S. Supporting a known gateway drug like marijuana will only increase the amount of people who choose to try deadlier substances.

We have too many prescriptions being written for addictive substances and sometimes indifference even with the knowledge that an individual has had addictions in the past or now struggles with the problem when writing them. Fewer prescriptions need to be written and doctors need to be monitored for high levels of prescriptions per the ratios of clients they see.

Finally rather than free college across the United States we provide a simple federal grant program to those struggling with addiction to get into a recovery center which often have unrealistic and expensive rates those trapped in addiction could not afford without insurance. Family members who often do not have the funds are forced to take out 2nd mortgages to pay for a program that is not even a guaranteed solution.

We are facing an epidemic. New solutions do need to be brought to the table but supporting drug use and perpetuating the life of those caught in addiction only makes a more difficult problem. Yes, we should strive to prevent overdoses but if we aren't stopping access to the poison or providing more treatment to those afflicted our wound is only going to fester.

-Trent D Nielson

* Additional sources provided upon request, there was not enough time provide citations at the creation of this posting.

Season Two : Episode 5 "Opinions and Decisions : Oregon and its Occupation"

Recently in the news there has been so much turmoil. Wars and rumors of wars. Scandals and heartbreak. Yet there have been a few good things too. Among all of the media there has been a story I have been following on a group of people some in Oregon who were fighting for a cause they believed in regarding a dispute of lands. There will always be judgement and speculation when justice is delivered. Men will not always be perfect in giving justice either. I am surprised to see members of the church rallying around and supporting these people who disregarded the law by force to demand their desires. Some look at them as martyrs when they placed themselves in the situation which lead to their demise and endangered those around them by their extreme actions.

The scriptures warn of false prophets. I believe those who cannot honor the laws of the land, especially a land which is founded on freedom, to promote their cause is someone we should be wary of. We live in a country of many freedoms, we have a political system where we can help make decisions of whom will be our leaders will be both locally and on a national scale. We can write letters, call & meet with local leaders to accomplish our desires. We can get our message out via social media and other resources.

I have a friend and  I would like to share some of his experiences. There was a time his country was covered in war. Many freedoms were being taken from them by groups of people who sought to establish their own will across the land. The government could not protect villages in outlying areas and they were threatened daily of being attacked. The attackers were merciless and if they gained advantage they would force the children to kill their parents or die themselves. He was forced to fight and wonder each night if he would wake up alive or if these enemies would come and destroy them in the night. He lived in fear and in turmoil. That was a country where freedoms were gone, that is a country where you must defend yourself by arms. That is not the case in America, we have so much freedom and so many blessings. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released this statement concerning the events in Oregon. momromnewsroom link

I share that story to show the contrast of someone who fought because he had to defend his life and those he loved because they were first attacked by those who sought to rule over them. In the book of  Mormon we learn that one may fight for their protection and their freedom but we also learn of people who went to war to take back land which they thought was their's but inasmuch as they took arms against their enemies they were not supported of the Lord and they fell. It was a time for them to submit themselves to their trials and trust in the Lord that another way would be provided. It is my belief the Lord always wants us to seek a peaceful way to resolve our disputes. I ask you if this is the case in Oregon? Who were the people to take up arms first? Who were the people to disregard the laws of the land? Who sought to enforce what they perceived the law of the land in their own ways? I may live in the west but the days of the Wild West is far behind us lands have been given and declared. There are no cowboys who can come with a gun and take what they think is theirs. I am grateful that my taxes pay for my protection against those who become so extreme and dangerous to those around them. I am grateful to a father who has been an officer for many years who has put his life on the line multiple times to protect those around him. I am grateful to family who have died in the service to protect our nation.

I believe in gun rights but when we have cases like these of people abusing the freedoms they have been given it puts in danger the freedoms for everyone. Do you see that?

Their are consequences all around us. For writing this blog I will have some people who are frustrated with the point of view I have expressed. When we disregard the law and threaten others with weapons then we also have consequences. Whether you believe they were correct about the land dispute or not I hope you can recognize that their other ways to accomplish those goals.

Season Two : Episode 4 "Catching Up"

It has been a while since I have had the opportunity to blog as you can see my time management is still a struggle. I guess it all lies in my prioritization. I am doing good at prioritizing family first but it is the other aspects of life that seem to be harder to juggle. Its all good I guess, I think we go through phases of being really good at one aspect or another through-out our experience here on earth. It is about learning who we are, whats really important and truly learning self-mastery. I titled this one catching up because I am finally posting and because all month I have been trying to catch up in school. Still going strong, hopefully I'll get there soon, less than 3 weeks left!

Anyways I was listening to a song this evening while I went to get us some Dominos (which is 50% off all online order through Dec 6th by the way) when I thought that I should take some time to right  a short blog about why I loved the song. It is called Glorious and I was listening to the version sung by David Archuleta. I don't think he wrote the song and sorry but I really like the original the best but anyways that's besides the point.

This morning things were not going the way that I had hoped. I had made it to bed later because both Rosalei was up late and I was working on an Opportunity Quest Project. That morning I had awoken late and Rosalei woke up right when I did. I tried to pretend I was asleep but it didn't work! She was wide awake! I love to see her and I love to play with her but it is hard to get ready in a hurry while holding a baby! After I got up I realized a project I had on my computer got interrupted by  a windows update and restarted my computer!

In my car I use a tri-pod with bendable legs to mount my phone so I can listen to music, navigate or what have you. I decided that I needed something to lift my spirits and not focus on the negative. Sometimes I will listen to scriptures or conference talks but I wasn't really in the mood. I decided to put on Glorious and listened to a rendition by One Voice Childrens Choir and David Archuleta. It lifted my spirits and set off my day to a much better start.

Later I was able to fix my project and I had a good experience at work. When things didn't work out further in other ways I was able to laugh it off and just realize that it wasn't a big deal. While things are stressful with having to provide for a family, trying to finish school as well as be a good husband and father as I listened to the song I was able to see that the Lord loved me. I realized that even though it feels like I make so many mistakes or life isn't going my way we all have different phases in life. As we follow the gospel we can find the part that we are supposed to play and where we are supposed to be making a difference. Right now it might be really focused on homework but later I will have a different place in life and all that matters i do my best where I am at. "Its like a symphony, just keep listening pretty soon you'll start to figure out your part"

We all have a part to play in this symphony of life. The Gospel of Jesus Christ can help us to see our part in this life. When life is rough and feels like things aren't going our way if we seek the Lord he will help us sometimes its through prayer, other times scriptures, sometimes music and often through others.

- Trent D. Nielson
Keep the Faith & Never Give Up, Never Surrender


"Glorious" rendition by David Archuleta:


Get a FREE download of "Glorious" by David Archuleta in English or Spanish
http://meetthemormons.com/glorious

Emmet's Opportunity Quest Submission:

So I threw this together in a couple hours so don't judge too much, bahaha

Season Two : Episode 3 "Family: Isn't it About, Time?" Part 1

Here is an old blog I wrote back in November that I never got published. It had some thoughts close to my heart though and wanted to share them, so without further ado: Recently I had the opportunity to read a post by Al Fox Carraway (Link to Post) where she shared her experience with her pregnancy and their decision to have a baby. I am not pregnant. So I will not be talking about my experience of pregnancy. However after reading her post I wanted to share our decision to start having children.

I remember at one point during our engagement my wife to be and I had discussed the subject. I had been all for having children but wasn't set in stone when I wanted to start. She was all for having children as soon as possible. Some how the time flew and we were married before completely closing the subject. The subject soon came up again as it was something my wife deeply felt was important and I was faced with serious personal reflection. It wasn't that I didn't want to have a family, I had always wanted a large family but I really wanted to be sure before we made such a huge decision.

During our courtship there were many people who offered their own marital advise. All of it was welcome and everything that I remember was so helpful. One of the things I heard many times from many people was to allow ourselves time before we have children. Time to bond to get to know each other and to get settled. Because when children came we wouldn't have any time to ourselves and it would be harder to get to know each other. I can see and understand that importance. Because before the test ever reads positive the hormones are flowing and it just isn't the same as before. (Maybe we will have another blog post about that for you men out there. In a nut shell hold on and remember there is light at the end of that tunnel... sometimes a very very small far away light but a light nonetheless) But there were other reasons that were given too. For example this was our time to see the world, to obtain an education, to get settled in a career. These are all wholesome goals and desires. I personally worried about what we would do financially. If we made the decision to have children now how would I have time for school when the baby came?

Despite my concerns in my heart I knew... I knew that we needed to bring forth any spirit child our Heavenly Father would bless us with. I knew from my personal covenants and study of the scriptures that it is a true and living commandment in place from our Father in Heaven. For me that meant that I needed to trust in God and move forward. If I did then I knew he would provide a way, for "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" 1 Nephi 3:7

So we decided to put our faith in the Lord and have a child. Except a baby didn't come. I remember how excited we were talking about having our first baby. I remember the first time we tested and it came back negative. We tried again a few days later just to be sure and it was still negative. Dis-heartening but hey it was okay how fast did we expect it to happen? But then as the next month came we received the same result . This happened again and again. I didn't really understand the process because I always figured when you decided to have a child that it just happened. Everyone I knew and had talked to seemed so caught up with preventing it from happening I didn't realize it could be so hard to become pregnant.

I had thought about the chance of being infertile when I was a youth and had already decided I would be okay with adopting and working with children in foster care because I had awesome friends from those situations and wanted to provide others with a great experience that were stuck in the system. This thought made it easier for me as we were met with disappointment. What was really hard was seeing my wife struggle. It was so hard to see her get her hopes up only to have them crushed again and again. This went on for only a few more months and then after 6 months of waiting my wife came back positive. I honestly had just given up and decided that it wasn't going to happen. I never told Emily though because I knew it would crush her if I did.

Emily surprised me when I got home from work. When I came home she said she needed to show me something but I couldn't look and had to follow her. At the time we lived in a studio apartment. To the left was the hall to the bathroom and to the right was everything else. So I closed my eyes, turned left and wondered what kind of "Surprise" was awaiting me in the bathroom. Lets just say I was very hesitant as I made my way down the hall. But when I opened my eyes I saw the pregnancy test on the counter. I was incredibly excited and half declared half asked, "We're Pregnant!?" There was a lot of joy and a lot of responsibility felt that day.

Rosalei @ 13 Weeks

Now we have made it to the third tri-mester and will be expecting our little princess on February 8th. I can't believe how time has flown and we are so excited for the day we get to meet our little girl. I know that the time we had to wait to be pregnant was small in comparison to other couples who don't have any luck for years, decades or never. But in that small amount of time I learned so much. I learned of the love I have for my wife and her for me. I learned of the Love of the Lord has for us. I learned yet again how to accept the Lord's will in my life and of patience. I learned that everything we are given in this life is a blessing, especially the things we don't think about.

When I started the blog I had a lot that was running through my mind, I didn't get to express or say everything that was on my mind but what I would like to share is this. There are many decisions we get to make and sometimes our decisions affect others. Sometimes we don't know what will come of them, but when we strive to live the covenants we have made with our Heavenly Father with faith, we will be blessed. We will be blessed in ways we do not at first understand but will come in time. Trust in the words of the Prophets for they are true. They will help you and bless you in this life. As you seek revelation from the Lord he will guide you and help you to fulfill his will for you in your life.

-Trent D. Nielson

"Keep the Faith & Never Give Up, Never Surrender"

Season Two : Episode 2 "Cherish the Moments"

Last night my wife and I were able to spend some time to watch a movie on Netflix. Which seems pretty normal but was a treat because I am always doing homework or helping out around the house or something. (Its like now that I am grown up I have all these things called "responsibilities", weird, Right?!)  So we are skimming through our videos and we came across this Christmas movie and I love Christmas, so I was totally for hit! It started out being the day of Halloween. Kinda weird for a Christmas movie but okay, cool. As we start watching it ends up being a really sentimental movie about this family's baby that is found with a type of cancer and their process through it. And as you reach the end of the movie you find out why it starts with Halloween. It ends on a bittersweet note but there are so many positive things you get from the movie. You see the strength of his mother and how she is in shambles at the beginning of the process and then how she becomes so strong . You see how the community gets involved to help and assist through their trial. And you see others who are changed in the process and realize the true priorities in their life.

I feel like I am pretty on track with my life but there is a level of inspiration that I felt from viewing those peoples experience. It is a movie based on a true story. I felt a desire to be better, to be involved in better things, to cherish every moment that this life gives. Thinking of the blessings of our lives right now I am overwhelmed and hope that I can take time to cherish the small and simple but sometimes most important things.

This past week I have had the opportunity to feel our little daughter kick, how precious an experience to feel that. There was literally a month where Em' could feel her and I couldn't. I mean by all means she is doing all the hard work so she gets first dibs to feel our little girl. It was however still pretty neat to realize she is growing so fast. To think that she is able to move around do so much already. They say she can hear us talk so I try and start up conversations with her every once in a while to see how she is doing. She doesn't ever respond so its kinda one-sided... But hey its just one more step in my plan to make sure she is a "Daddy's Girl" ; )

We have been on the house hunt and have filtered out a lot of properties. It has been an intense process but such a blessing. It was actually the day we would have signed on a rental agreement we found out we were pre-approved to purchase a home! And the way it all happened we knew it was a blessing from our Heavenly Father.

I hope that as I continue through each day and especially this week I can see the tender blessings in in our lives. I pray that I will recognize the subtle mercies of my Heavenly Father and focus on the true purposes of this life.

- Trent D. Nielson

"Keep the Faith & Never Give Up, Never Surrender"

Season Two : Episode 1 "Twists and Turns"

Hello again! I know, I know, I failed epicly at my goal to write weekly or even monthly at that haha. It is funny how many twists and turns life can throw at us. If you would have asked me what I would be doing right now, following my mission I would have had a detailed list of plans and goals for that week the next month, quarter, year, to even  5 years out. I knew exactly what I wanted and had the perfect plan to get there... or so I thought.

Today I have a clearer idea how life has a variety of detours for us to take. That our fool proof plan with "back-up plan C or Z" can always change. Despite all the changes I have experienced since my mission I have seen that the Lord is ever aware of me and able to provide me with the blessings right when I need them. And sometimes he waits for me to accept them.

Today I am in a different spot than I imagined. Emily and I are still living in Arizona. We have two puppies, Bella a Chocolate Lab who is 8 months old and Phili (yep named after Philadelphia, and she is a girl) a Belguin Malinois Shepherd/Dutch Shepherd mix. They are lively and keep us very busy, training them not to tear into the trash or pee in the house has been quite the challenge. We made a recent triumph in discovering that Phili would not pee in her Kennel if it was smaller and closer to her size : ) You do not know how grateful we are not to be cleaning her kennel at 2:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.! (P.S. Thanks for the kennels Karyn!)

I am in-between jobs and continuing to run my web/graphic design business on the side and Emily is still working at the bakery. We have awesome family near and far and could not be more grateful for their love and kindness to us. Recently we traveled to Texas for a funeral and were able to spend the weekend with Emily's father. It was wonderful to have that time as our former visits to her family were only a few hours. I was able to get to know them so much better and I can remember the names and ages of all my new brothers and sisters, haha! Who are all amazing by the way!

Although I thought that this would be my final semester graduating with my bachelors at DSU, that I would be in St. George and that for some crazy reason I would already be owning a home. I don't mind that I don't, because I married to the most amazing woman in the world. I am grateful for her patience with me and all my quirks. I am thankful for her love for me which she shows every day! I am grateful for her love for the Savior His gospel and how she strives to live His teachings. I am thankful to know that we are married under sacred covenants to our Heavenly Father that make our bond ever stronger and marriage more fulfilled as we live up to those covenants. I am grateful our marriage is Eternal. Thank you, my Rose, I could never do it without you!

-Trent D. Nielson

Keep the Faith & Never give Up, Never Surrender