I remember at one point during our engagement my wife to be and I had discussed the subject. I had been all for having children but wasn't set in stone when I wanted to start. She was all for having children as soon as possible. Some how the time flew and we were married before completely closing the subject. The subject soon came up again as it was something my wife deeply felt was important and I was faced with serious personal reflection. It wasn't that I didn't want to have a family, I had always wanted a large family but I really wanted to be sure before we made such a huge decision.
During our courtship there were many people who offered their own marital advise. All of it was welcome and everything that I remember was so helpful. One of the things I heard many times from many people was to allow ourselves time before we have children. Time to bond to get to know each other and to get settled. Because when children came we wouldn't have any time to ourselves and it would be harder to get to know each other. I can see and understand that importance. Because before the test ever reads positive the hormones are flowing and it just isn't the same as before. (Maybe we will have another blog post about that for you men out there. In a nut shell hold on and remember there is light at the end of that tunnel... sometimes a very very small far away light but a light nonetheless) But there were other reasons that were given too. For example this was our time to see the world, to obtain an education, to get settled in a career. These are all wholesome goals and desires. I personally worried about what we would do financially. If we made the decision to have children now how would I have time for school when the baby came?
Despite my concerns in my heart I knew... I knew that we needed to bring forth any spirit child our Heavenly Father would bless us with. I knew from my personal covenants and study of the scriptures that it is a true and living commandment in place from our Father in Heaven. For me that meant that I needed to trust in God and move forward. If I did then I knew he would provide a way, for "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" 1 Nephi 3:7
So we decided to put our faith in the Lord and have a child. Except a baby didn't come. I remember how excited we were talking about having our first baby. I remember the first time we tested and it came back negative. We tried again a few days later just to be sure and it was still negative. Dis-heartening but hey it was okay how fast did we expect it to happen? But then as the next month came we received the same result . This happened again and again. I didn't really understand the process because I always figured when you decided to have a child that it just happened. Everyone I knew and had talked to seemed so caught up with preventing it from happening I didn't realize it could be so hard to become pregnant.
I had thought about the chance of being infertile when I was a youth and had already decided I would be okay with adopting and working with children in foster care because I had awesome friends from those situations and wanted to provide others with a great experience that were stuck in the system. This thought made it easier for me as we were met with disappointment. What was really hard was seeing my wife struggle. It was so hard to see her get her hopes up only to have them crushed again and again. This went on for only a few more months and then after 6 months of waiting my wife came back positive. I honestly had just given up and decided that it wasn't going to happen. I never told Emily though because I knew it would crush her if I did.
Emily surprised me when I got home from work. When I came home she said she needed to show me something but I couldn't look and had to follow her. At the time we lived in a studio apartment. To the left was the hall to the bathroom and to the right was everything else. So I closed my eyes, turned left and wondered what kind of "Surprise" was awaiting me in the bathroom. Lets just say I was very hesitant as I made my way down the hall. But when I opened my eyes I saw the pregnancy test on the counter. I was incredibly excited and half declared half asked, "We're Pregnant!?" There was a lot of joy and a lot of responsibility felt that day.
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| Rosalei @ 13 Weeks |
Now we have made it to the third tri-mester and will be expecting our little princess on February 8th. I can't believe how time has flown and we are so excited for the day we get to meet our little girl. I know that the time we had to wait to be pregnant was small in comparison to other couples who don't have any luck for years, decades or never. But in that small amount of time I learned so much. I learned of the love I have for my wife and her for me. I learned of the Love of the Lord has for us. I learned yet again how to accept the Lord's will in my life and of patience. I learned that everything we are given in this life is a blessing, especially the things we don't think about.
When I started the blog I had a lot that was running through my mind, I didn't get to express or say everything that was on my mind but what I would like to share is this. There are many decisions we get to make and sometimes our decisions affect others. Sometimes we don't know what will come of them, but when we strive to live the covenants we have made with our Heavenly Father with faith, we will be blessed. We will be blessed in ways we do not at first understand but will come in time. Trust in the words of the Prophets for they are true. They will help you and bless you in this life. As you seek revelation from the Lord he will guide you and help you to fulfill his will for you in your life.
-Trent D. Nielson
"Keep the Faith & Never Give Up, Never Surrender"
